Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
