your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
