he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
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His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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