Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
