I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine