I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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