We won't sleep together?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His nipple licking is glorious
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