If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
