is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i love accidental penises.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
