so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
