Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
