You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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