i already hear my dad disowning me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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