its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
