weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
