Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
