Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
