i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
