Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
