hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
