we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
