The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
