I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
