i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
