I faked an abortion last night.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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