just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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