you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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