never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
