It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
