U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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