Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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