So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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