Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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