You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
