Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
