Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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