Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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