On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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