So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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