The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
