Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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