Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
