somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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