I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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