I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
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somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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