my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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