yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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