Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
