Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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