Kiss
Puke
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
