he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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