all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
