I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
