Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
