I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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