i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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