Sober January is a disaster.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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