smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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