At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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