There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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