In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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